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- 推定ページ数： 328 ページ
- 出版社: Impact; 10版 (2017/3/1)
- 販売： Amazon Services International, Inc.
- 言語: 英語
- ASIN: B01LVZYVBN
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- Word Wise: 有効
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Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships (English Edition) Kindle版
--Allen Fay, MD, psychiatrist and coauthor of I Can If I Want To
"An interesting, readable, and practical manual."
"Filled with a wealth of examples on how to cope with everyday situations ... counters feelings of futility."
--Los Angeles Times
"Five-star highly recommended rating in the national survey ... Some mental health professionals call (it) 'the assertiveness bible, ' they think so highly of it ... this is an excellent self-help book."
--The Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Books
"Long regarded as the A-T bible."
"Not only is it the best book on assertiveness, it sets the standard for self-help books in general."
--Gary Emery, PhD, psychologist and author of Overcoming Depression
"The assertiveness bible: helps the non-assertive speak up and the aggressive, tone down."
"The bible of assertive training."
--Journal of Counseling & Development
"There are many practical guides to assertive living but this is without question, the best."
--Cyril M. Franks, PhD, psychologist and editor of Child and Family Behavior Therapy
"Without a peer in the field ... truly a classic."
--Aaron Beck, MD, psychiatrist and author of Love is Never Enough --このテキストは、paperback版に関連付けられています。
Robert Alberti, PhD, has received international recognition for his writing and editing, which is often praised as the “gold standard” for psychological self-help. Recently retired from a long career as a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, book author, editor, and publisher, Alberti’s now inactive professional affiliations include licensure as a psychologist and marriage and family therapist in California, life membership and fellowship of the American Psychological Association (APA), clinical membership in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and fifty years of professional membership in the American Counseling Association (ACA). Alberti’s publishing achievements include eight books, newsletters for a number of organizations, dozens of articles, and the editing of more than 100 popular and professional psychology books by other authors.
His “formal” publications career began in 1970 with the first edition of Your Perfect Right, coauthored with Michael Emmons. Now in its tenth revised edition, Your Perfect Right has over 1.3 million copies in print in the United States, and has been published in translation in more than twenty languages around the world. Alberti also collaborated with the late divorce therapist Bruce Fisher on Rebuilding, a best-selling guide to surviving divorce, which has over 1 million copies in print and editions in ten languages.
Michael Emmons, PhD, (1938-2016), was a celebrated psychologist; consultant to educational, government, and business organizations; trainer of marriage and family counseling interns at California Polytechnic State University; and author or coauthor of seven books. Emmons and assertiveness training became synonymous when he coauthored Your Perfect Right with Robert Alberti. Since 1970, he devoted much of his life’s work to furthering and understanding assertiveness. Although his focus on assertive living took center stage, he was an innovator in terms of dealing with the whole person—mentally, physically, and spiritually.
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*different people think and behave differently
*how you say something is as important as what you say.
Any generic meme provides more insight and inspiration than this book.
I’m wondering how it made so many printings and inspired so many people. I’m told previous releases were better. This was painfully dry and dropped my IQ a few points.
Assertiveness is operationally defined and explained as the mean between the extremes of under-assertiveness (also known as passivity), on the one hand, and, on the other, over-assertiveness (also known as hostility). But this way of operationally defining and explaining assertiveness is the equivalent of Aristotle’s way of operationally defining and explaining the virtue of courage as the mean between the extremes of cowardice (not enough courage), on the one hand, and, on the other, brashness (too much courage). But Alberti and Emmons do not happen to advert explicitly to Aristotle’s discussion of the virtue of courage.
However, for Aristotle, courage is only one of the key virtues that needs to be cultivated – along with the three other key virtues of temperance, prudence, and justice (that is, the personal virtue of justice, as distinct from the legal standard of justice). But Alberti and Emmons do not happen to advert explicitly to any of the other virtues Aristotle discusses.
The medieval Roman Catholic theologian St. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) worked out an elaborate synthesis of Aristotle’s thought and the Christian tradition of thought – known as Aristotelian-Thomistic philosophy and theology. In the twentieth century, before the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) in the Roman Catholic Church, Roman Catholics educated in Catholic colleges and universities studied Aristotelian-Thomistic philosophy and theology.
For example, the lay German Thomist Josef Pieper (1904-1997) discussed Aquinas’ thought about the four cardinal virtues in the book The Four Cardinal Virtues: Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, Temperance, edited by Josef Pieper, and translated by Richard Winston and Clara Winston (Prudence); Lawrence E. Lynch (Justice); and Daniel F. Coogan (Fortitude [also known as Courage] and Temperance [also known as Moderation]) (Notre Dame, Indiana: University of Notre Dame Press, 1966).
In the twentieth century, the German American Protestant theologian Paul Tillich (1886-1966) also celebrated the existential virtue of courage in his book The Courage to Be (New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 1952), the published version of his 1950 Terry Lectures at Yale University.
In addition, in the twentieth century, the American Aristotelian philosopher Mortimer J. Adler (1902-2001) published a number of accessible books about Aristotle’s thought, including the book Desires Right & Wrong: The Ethics of Enough (New York: Macmillan, 1991), which goes beyond considering only the virtue of courage – or the virtue of assertiveness in Alberti and Emmons’ terminology.
But the late American self-help author and recovering alcoholic John Bradshaw (1933-2016) captures the complexity of Aristotle’s multi-dimensional thought about virtue in the subtitle of his 2009 book Reclaiming Virtue: How We Can Develop the Moral Intelligence to Do the Right Thing at the Right Time for the Right Reason (New York: Bantam Dell/ Random House). In his lengthy subtitle, Bradshaw is paraphrasing something Aristotle says in the Nicomachean Ethics – something that is not incompatible with what Alberti and Emmons say, but which they do not explicitly say as cogently as Aristotle does.
Even though Bradshaw understands that Aristotle was, in effect, arguing with his former teacher Plato, I want to call attention to the Homeric epic the Iliad as part of the relevant background of Aristotle’s thought about courage. Aristotle lived and taught in Athens during its famous experiment in limited democracy (limited, that is, to male citizens), during which time the Homeric epics still loomed large in Athenian culture.
Now, in the famous invocation of the Muses at the beginning of the Iliad, the singer/poet invokes the help of the Muses to sing about the wrath of the warrior-king Achilles (the Greek term rendered as “wrath” can also be rendered as “rage”). Whatever else may be said about the wrath of the warrior-king Achilles, it does not represent what Aristotle means by the virtue of courage – the supposed mean between the extremes of brashness and cowardice. On the contrary, wrath represents the extreme of brashness. Consequently, Aristotle’s conception of the virtue of courage is counter-cultural, in the sense of countering the widely known Homeric example of Achilles.
We should also note that Achilles is portrayed in the Iliad as a warrior-king. To be sure, there were warriors who were not warrior-kings, but in ancient times, kings were characteristically warrior-kings. Even in the Hebrew Bible, King David is portrayed as a warrior-king.
Now, in the early 1990s, the late American Jungian theorist and psychotherapist Robert L. Moore (1942-2016; Ph.D. in psychology and religion, University of Chicago, 1983) of the Chicago Theological Seminary stepped forward publicly to counter political-correctness zealotry to the best of his ability with his account of the four masculine archetypes of maturity. Moore and his co-author Douglas Gillette detailed his account of the four masculine archetypes of maturity in a series of five self-help books published in the early 1990s.
In my estimate, Moore and Gillette’s 1990 book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine (HarperSanFrancisco) is their best book because it provides a comprehensive overview of Moore’s account of the masculine archetypes of maturity. For the record, Moore also postulates four parallel feminine archetypes of maturity, and he further postulates that all human persons have both the four masculine and the four feminine archetypes of maturity in their psyches.
The archetypes of maturity involved in proper assertiveness (in Alberti and Emmons’ terminology) are the masculine Warrior archetype and the feminine Warrior archetype. But Moore and Gillette also claim that each archetype of maturity involves two “shadow” forms and one optimal form – something akin to the mean between the extremes (used by Aristotle and by Alberti and Emmons). Moreover, according to Moore and Gillette, certain people might oscillate alternatively between the two “shadow” forms of one or more of the archetypes of maturity, but without advancing decisively to the optimal form(s).
Now, both the masculine and the feminine Warrior archetypes include two “shadow” forms that Moore and Gillette colorfully name the Sadist and the Masochist. Their names for the “shadow” forms of the other three archetypes of maturity are also colorful. In contrast with the eight colorfully named “shadow” forms of the archetypes of maturity, each archetype of maturity has only one optimal form, but the optimal forms are not given colorful names – each is just known as the optimal form of the archetype in question.
Now, the main title of Alberti and Emmons’ self-help book about assertiveness, mentioned above, suggests that they envisioned their readers as people who are stuck in the Masochist “shadow” Warrior forms (in Moore and Gillette’s terminology).
However, in my estimate, the women engaged in political-correctness zealotry today are also stuck in the Sadist “shadow” form of the feminine Warrior archetype of maturity and also simultaneously in the Tyrant “shadow” form of the Queen archetype of feminine maturity. Similarly, the men engaged in political-correctness zealotry today are stuck in the Sadist “shadow” form of the masculine Warrior archetype of maturity and also simultaneously in the Tyrant “shadow” form of the King archetype of masculine maturity.
As a rule, culture warriors are stuck in the Sadist “shadow” Warrior forms of the archetypes of maturity and also simultaneously stuck in the Tyrant “shadow” forms of the Royal archetypes of maturity (the King and the Queen). For example, the alt-right people named in Andrew Marantz’s new book Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians, and the Hijacking of the American Conversation (New York: Viking, 2019) are stuck in the Sadist “shadow” Warrior forms of the archetypes of maturity. But the optimal forms of the Warrior archetypes of maturity are pro-social, not anti-social, and so are the optimal forms of the Royal archetypes of maturity (the King and the Queen).
Various forms of zealotry, not only political-correctness zealotry today, but also anti-abortion zealotry can bestow on the zealots a heightened sense of power and purpose in life. Consequently, for zealots to ratchet down their zealotry may be problematic, to say the least. In Aristotle’s terminology, various forms of zealotry involve brashness. In Alberti and Emmons’ terminology, various forms of zealotry involve being overly assertive and hostile.
But I want to return for a moment to the hyphenated term warrior-king, as exemplified in the Iliad not only by Achilles but also be numerous other characters portrayed as warrior-kings – and by King David in the Hebrew Bible. Can men today become warrior-kings in their own psyches and lives? That is, can men today learn how to access the optimal forms of both the King archetype of maturity and the masculine Warrior archetype of maturity? Put differently, what if men today tend to specialize in accessing the optimal form of the masculine Warrior archetype, perhaps by following Alberti and Emmons’ guidelines about proper assertiveness in life, but neglect the task of learning how to access the optimal form of the King archetype of maturity?
If we were to think of the kind of inner leveraging process suggested by the hyphenated term warrior-king, then we might wonder if other inner leveraging processes are involved in the tasks of learning how to access the optimal forms of the masculine Magician archetype of maturity and the masculine Lover archetype of maturity.
In addition, if we were to think of inner leveraging processes involved in learning how to access the optimal forms of the four masculine archetypes of maturity, then we might also wonder if other inner leveraging processes are involved involving the four feminine archetypes of maturity in the human psyche.
By way of digression, I should note here that it is hard work for adult women to learn how to access the optimal forms of the four feminine archetypes of maturity – and it is at least equally hard for adult men to learn how to access the optimal forms of the four feminine archetypes of maturity in their psyches. However, one example of an adult man at least attempting the kind of inner work with some optimal forms of the feminine archetypes of maturity in his psyche is Dante’s famous portrayal of the character Beatrice in the Divine Comedy. The character Beatrice is based on his fond memory of his boyhood encounter with a girl named Beatrice. My favorite scholar the American Jesuit Renaissance specialist and cultural historian Walter J. Ong (1912-2003; Ph.D. in English, Harvard University, 1955). describes Dante-the-poet’s “apotheosis of Beatrice” in his 1951 essay “The Lady and the Issue” that he reprinted in his 1967 book In the Human Grain: Further Explorations of Contemporary Culture (New York: Macmillan, pages 188-202, at 192). Ong’s choice of the word apotheosis to describe the character Beatrice is apt. The word apotheosis contains the Greek word theos, meaning god. So, in effect, Ong is accusing Dante of making the character Beatrice into a goddess. But this is consistent with Jean Houston’s discussion of the inner goddess in our psyches.
For further discussion of the kind of inner work with the feminine archetypes of maturity that I am referring to here as being involved one’s own personal psycho-spiritual growth and development, see the American humanistic psychologist Jean Houston’s 1992 self-help book The Hero and the Goddess: The Odyssey as Mystery and Initiation (New York: Ballantine Books).
Also see the American Jungian psychotherapist Edward C. Whitmont’s 1982 book Return of the Goddess (New York: Crossroad).
Incidentally, Moore characterized Jesuit training as Warrior training. Both the American Jesuit Ong and the Argentine Jesuit Pope Francis (born Jorge Mario Bergoglio in 1936; reigned 2013- ) were trained as Jesuits.
Disclosure: I was in the Jesuits for a time (1979-1987). I did my theological studies at the University of Toronto. However, today I would describe myself as a theistic humanist, as distinct from an atheistic humanist (also known as a secular humanist).
I understand the point of Moore’s characterization of Jesuit training. However, arguably more than anything else Jesuit spirituality fosters deep awareness of one’s own consciousness and learning how to discern carefully about the inner movements of spirits in one own psyche. I would align this kind of inner attentiveness with the Magician archetypes of maturity (masculine and feminine).
Of course, one of the most widely known guidebooks for the Detached Manipulator “shadow” form of the masculine Magician archetype of maturity is Machiavelli’s The Prince (1532).
As part of their Jesuit training, novices in the two-year Jesuit novitiate make a 30-day retreat in silence (except for the daily conferences with the retreat director) following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola (1491-1556), the Spanish (Basque) founder of the Jesuit order. Later in their rather lengthy Jesuit training, after Jesuits are ordained as priests, they devote a third year to novitiate-like living (known in Jesuit parlance as tertianship), during which they make a second 30-day retreat in silence (except for daily conferences with the retreat director) following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola. In general, the emphasis on prayer and meditation during Jesuit training, and subsequently in their lives, is oriented toward learning how to access the optimal form of the masculine Magician archetype of maturity.
The American Jesuit psychiatrist and Freudian psychoanalyst W. W. Meissner (1931-2010) explores the kind of inner work with the feminine dimension of St. Ignatius Loyola’s psyche is his 1992 book The Psychology of a Saint: Ignatius of Loyola (New Haven and London: Yale University Press).
For further reading about Pope Francis, see the London-based Roman Catholic journalist Austen Ivereigh’s 2014 book The Great Reformer: Francis and the Making of a Radical Pope (New York: Henry Holt) and his 2019 book Wounded Shepherd: Pope Francis and His Struggle to Convert the Catholic Church (New York: Henry Holt).