The Usual Error: Why We Don't Understand Each Other and 34 Ways to Make It Better ペーパーバック – 2008/12/3
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This is a down-to-earth communication guidebook filled with methods we've learned and tested, and punctuated with actual stories from our lives. You'll learn why miscommunication happens so often, how to avoid needless conflict, how to resolve arguments peacefully, what societal myths block clear understanding, and how to be happier by changing the way you speak. So throw away that mind-reading helmet you bought on eBay. It doesn't work anyway. We'll show you better ways to be understood and to understand other people, and we'll entertain you in the process!
While the tips and techniques offered can be applied in both personal and professional settings, I think the book will be most useful to folks looking for clarity in their personal relationships. The book does not delve into the messier aspects of how to handle conflict and behavior that is difficult.
As a primer, though, this is a warm and engaging place to start learning how to avoid all too common communication missteps that have their origin in the "usual error," i.e. thinking that others are just like me!
I not only learned much, but also enjoyed this book. Being someone who recalls pictures in detail more easily than a concept in words, I appreciate that there are (somewhat silly) drawings to depict each error. The authors state that this was done precisely for people like me, to give a dual approach to learning.
The examples they provide for each error are obviously from their own lives, adding a personal note that kept me from feeling preached at and sometimes being so familiar I caught myself saying "I've done that!" -- right out loud.
I would recommend this book for everyone, from teenagers to elders. If enough people read this book, we could solve generational, gender, national, and ethnic misunderstandings in our society.