More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory ペーパーバック – 2014/9/1
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Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now there's the new book More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory to help you find your own way.
Thousands of questions I never would have thought to ask about myself or others! Incredible.
I have finally set healthy boundaries for myself after 10 years of trying to figure it out!
I just finished it in 5 days, and to be honest I'm disappointed that it's over!
I liked the kindle version since it lets me highlight, copy, and paste making my note taking and self discovery super simple!
Someone in our group asked about its appropriateness for teens: my response is this:
Well. That depends. The book is excellent as far as relationships of all kinds go!!! It's not overly sexual or explicit at all, very tasteful. It is of course, designed to explain the how tos of poly living, but also discusses monogamy, comparing the two often without coercion. It's much more focused on in depth discussions of how to/how it to have healthy relationships with yourself and others than on sex. It focuses on compassion and integrity.
I come from a very Christian back ground, I love my Jesus! But this book goes over love in ways that I have never learned and feel are highly intelligent and accurate as far as how to love yourself, and others!
You could absolutley read it yourself as a way to gain some amazing insights on teaching kids about healthy love, and for older teens, I feel that it is absolutely appropriate and educational in ways that are thought provoking and prompt personal growth in countless positive ways, including information regarding making personal choices that affect sexual health and safety.
This is a book that anyone in any romantic or intimate relationship should read. Period.
The discussion on ethics in relationships is thoughtful, principled, and regurgitates none of the often-repeated glib "rules" I've heard from online poly how-to sources; likewise the discussion on jealousy is deeply reflective. It's clear that these are ideas grown from years of learning and unflinching self-examination rather than years of repeating the same mistakes over and over. The tone assumes that readers are emotionally and intellectually mature people seeking to improve our relationships, our capacity for intimacy and our relation with ourselves. There are no easy answers or flip solutions, but there's also an undertone of compassionate reassurance that all manner of thing shall be well.
The bottom line is that this is a resource for adults willing and able to self-examine in order to have more satisfying, joyful and organic intimate relationships rather than people seeking high-school-like hierarchies and rules to ensure that no one encounters pain, doubt or jealousy.
There are many, many relationship tips, that are applicable to people who are monogamous as well.
Because even if you only identify as having one romantic partner (at a time), aren't there others in your close intimate circle: close friends, siblings, coworkers, that you love?
But if you open your heart and your life to more than one romantic partner, it gets complicated. You have to not only negotiate among your partners, but among social expectations. It's a little odd, how serial monogamy is socially accepted, how even cheating often gets a wink and a nod, but openly saying you are seeking to practice ethical non-monogamy, and people often look askance.
This book needs a place on the bookshelf of anyone who's already opened a relationship to "more Than Two," or those contemplating such a move, as it will bring up aspects and considerations you may not have considered. It's also a great read for those who love someone - a son, daughter, sibling, friend - who's adopted this lifestyle. Very well written, organized well, it's a smooth (if long) read.