The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement [ペーパーバック]

For some time I've been wondering what the attraction of social networks such as MySpace and Facebook and dozens of imitators are all about. My children and most of their friends spend hours and hours on these "tell-all" websites. If I wish to know what my kids are up to, I can check their websites and the websites of their girl friends. My daughter ended up with some stalker problems and wisely cancelled her Facebook listing. I don't check my son's social sites often because I know I may not like what I find posted. Most of it is harmless news, but some of it is too personal for dear old Dad and Mom to want to know. Much of what is shown on many social sites may come back to bite the subject of the material on their rear ends. Employers often check the listings about potential employees.
Some of my peers spend more time updating their social website listings than improving their business websites. I know that the number of so-call "friends" pictured on their social sites must require them to spend several hours a day corresponding. The business friends justify it as networking and self-promotion for their businesses. I have my doubts. I suspect those friendships are miles wide and a fraction of an inch deep.
This book is about the fact that the Narcissism Epidemic has hooked millions of people into becoming "Me Addicts." These youngsters are the product of our American culture that glorifies wealth, beauty, glamour and fame and who have been told by their parents and teachers that they are truly outstanding individuals despite any flaws. The "Love Yourself" educational programs they have been brainwashed with throughout their school careers have gone amuck. The students have been protected from reality and turned into spoiled, entitled, and lazy adults. They have traded reality for a world of fantasy. They feel they are entitled. They don't realize that accomplishments come from hard work. They believe there really is "free lunch" for everyone.
The book's four sections contain seventeen chapters. They describe the problem and it's symptoms and at the book's conclusion offers several possible solutions. The part of the book that I found most interesting was how "the Narcissism Epidemic" is partially responsible for the current economic crisis. "The American society (and political system) actively promotes living beyond your means. You want to appear to be richer, cooler, or more successful than you are. There are no payment for the first 12 months!" That's why the amount of plastic surgery done annually has exploded in only a few years. "The number of plastic surgeons, for example, has tripled since the mid-1970's while the number of physicians has merely doubled." Government policy encourages living beyond one's means by rewarding people for taking on too much debt through easy credit and taxing the heck out of savers. The economic system is broken and needs to be redesigned to reward the producers and savers and instead taxing consumption.
This very readable book will make its readers wonder if they too are prisoners of the Narcissism Epidemic. While not exactly a page-turner, it is hard to put the book aside for very long. It's full of interesting insights, research results and tests to help you determine your own degree of infection. It confirms many of the feelings and suspicions we've all felt about the current media obsessions with wealth, fame and celebrities.

"The Narcissism Epidemic" is an often thought-provoking critique of modern American culture. We're definitely more obsessed with ourselves than decades ago, and it's certainly an uncomfortable experience to read the many examples here and recognize family members, friends, and loved ones. Yet despite the fact that both authors are academic research psychologists, there's an awful lot less psychology in this book than meets the eye. Truth be told, while there are a lot of good research studies on narcissism, both Twenge and Campbell are willing to go far beyond the data to extend their hypotheses to such areas as MySpace, online flamers, and dating websites. A wealth of social psychology and evolutionary psychology research explains these areas far better than Twenge and Campbell's thesis, yet this research is all but ignored by the authors. Many of the chapters rely on the tried-and-true anecdotal approach used in academic critiques of pop culture, often implying empirical support by associating them with unrelated research articles. I'm also annoyed at the almost total lack of chapter references; instead we are given a website to download this information from.

The book ignores much of the social structure that supports narcissism and allows it to flourish. Yes, the parental and educational influences are clearly labelled. But codependency isn't probed. Nor is the general lack of assertiveness among many people. Narcissists can't run rampant within a society unless they are allowed to. In the chapter on the cult of celebrity, for example, the role of gossip mags as reinforcement for the celebrity narcissist is mentioned. But what about the consumer of such magazines? Some of their support may be that they are allowed to participate vicariously into the lives of someone far more famous and glamorous than they are.

There's also more than a hint of generation gap angst. College students' narcissism is detailed, but media hungry professors are ignored. Academicians who use the classroom as a soapbox to speak outside their area of expertise are absent. The motives of contemporary youth volunteers is questioned, yet the motives of social protesters in the 1960s isn't. (Anyone who attended any protests knows that it's a great way to meet people and present an image of political awareness!)

Still, this book does document a pressing social problem, and does it well. It also contains a series of suggestions for reducing or preventing narcissism in your children, your family, and even yourself. This sets it apart from many other finger-wagging books. I enjoyed this book because it forced me to re-examine some of the way I look at certain people in my life. But while Twenge and Campbell do an excellent job of describing the current state of narcissism today, they don't do as good a job convincing me of their central thesis. Narcissism research is superb in demonstrating how narcissists react angrily to criticism and feedback, and how they view themselves as entitled to special treatment. It does not do a very good job of explaining online rudeness, why we obsess over celebrities, behave immaturely, refuse to effectively discipline our children, or treat our current lives as transitional. I recommend this one as an excellent read, but one that must be read with an eye toward alternate explanations.

As a parent, I found this book eye opening. Aren't I the one who takes my kids to soccer and baseball where they get a trophy for simply attending? My daughter's teachers make the parents invite the entire class to a birthday party so no one gets their feelings hurt. This makes me sick! I am so happy that this is not good for them. Our children must grow up in a world where they are not always going to be the best and they are not going to get everything they want. I've have always felt that my kids need to "earn" self esteem by accomplishing something- not for just showing up. This book shows me that it is truly an epidemic out there. I better watch out!!