Make Every Man Want You: or Make Yours Want You More) [ペーパーバック]

I read book reviews on amazon before I purchase books, in order to ensure that I am getting books that have helped the most people. I figure there's strength in numbers, in a manner of speaking. That's half the reason I ordered this book by Maria Forleo -- good reviews. The other half of the reason was the title: Make Every Man Want You. Who could resist a title like that? It was too intriguing to pass up! I wanted to know what these so-called secrets were.

Sadly, this was indeed a case of GREAT marketing... way too great. The title completely oversold the book. What I expected to read was a helpful guide overviewing some of the pitfalls that trip up women and make them self-sabotage on dates. What I found instead was a useless pep talk written by someone who honestly comes across as a 20-year-old college cheerleader. "You're so fabulous!!" and "You are an amazing, irresistable woman!" scream up at you from every page until you want to shake the book and throw it against the wall. Honestly. I wanted to yell, "I know that! I have a graduate degree, I'm not a moron! Tell me something useful." I completely agree with the reviewer who said that Forleo doesn't present a single original idea in this entire book. It's basically a book of other people's thoughts cobbled together in the peppy cheerleader voice. Some highlights:

-- You're irresistable!
-- Live in the moment! That's all there is!
-- Embrace your is-ness (does this remind ANYONE else of You, Me and Dupree when Owen Wilson becomes famous for his series of books and lectures on "harnessing your inner 'ness'"??? No? Just me?)
-- Love is not eternal, so don't be surprised when your husband, boyfriend, lover falls out of love with you
-- Take care of yourself physically so guys will notice how irresistable you actually are! (really? I needed a book to tell me that?)
-- Don't quit your hobbies when you get a boyfriend (again... seriously?)

I found the middle two the most annoying. I spent 15 bucks to have someone tell me to embrace my inner is-ness?? I mean, maybe if it were Dale Carnegie and he were saying it in his winning, proven way. But peppy cheerleader? No thanks. The other one was about love being transitory. I just found this sad. Do you really want to read a book by someone who says that love doesn't last and that you should only stay together as long as it does? She's not talking about love, people. She's talking about lust. The whole NATURE of love is that its forever. I know I'll meet with some disagreement on this front, but I stand by it. I don't want to read a book about dating by someone who doesn't even believe in love.

All in all, this book is just a waste of your resources. I thought Have Him At Hello was much better. I was at Barnes and Noble one day and glanced at it, then quickly got sucked in when I saw the immense amount of time and research that went into writing it. The book is written by a Harvard MBA who interviewed a thousand men, often spending 30-45 minutes with just one guy! She talks about her findings from the guys' perspective on what makes them decline to ask you out for a second date :)

I bought this book after a painful break up. Yes, I realize it's a gamble to buy a book based on reviews. One does desperate things now and then. I had to struggle to read the first few highly repetitive chapters and finally just couldn't take it any longer. I have never written a review of a book on Amazon prior to this, but this book compelled me to get on here and say: HALT! There must surely be better relationship advice books out there. I can sum up the entire gestalt in three sentences: Be good to yourself. Be pretty. Be here now.
That's it. No need for you folks to buy the book. Those three ideas are essentially IT. I realllllly don't appreciate an author who admits within the first few pages that she's lied to us all via her title to get us to buy her book! What would make me want to trust a bit of advice she has to offer after that? Hm?

This book is possibly the best advice book I've ever read. The author speaks in a clear, no-holds-barred manner. It is also done in a humorous, conspiratorial way, like talking to good friend. She gives good advice about how to live a more satisfying life, and this includes relationships. And it boils down to these 2 concepts: 1) Live in the now. Nothing is more irresistable than a woman who is really enjoying her life.

2) Make you the center of your life, not him. Have a life first, take care of yourself, and your man will want to do the same for you. That way, you won't be looking to him to complete you. (Because you are already complete!) Both you and he will be happier.

What I liked most about this book is that she shows you how to move beyond "the rules" and still have a satisfying relationship with your guy. As a former "rules" adherrent, I find her approach to be freeing and more natural. Ultimately, that's what we want - to be loved and accepted just the way we are. Not because we executed a set of dating techniques well. It's not about manipulation. It's about living your authentic truths. Doing what makes you happy. (From personal experience: when you're happy, he's happy.) It's not about men vs women. It's about your collective truths - your truths, his truths - getting to know each other as unique individuals. That takes a little more work than following a set of arbitrary rules, but it is well worth it.

This book is unlike any other dating advice book I've ever read. It focuses on showing you how to take care of yourself first, and then how the rest (including your romantic life) will just fall into place. It is the advice women sorely need to hear. Pick this up. Your happier life begins now. Good luck!