Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success [ハードカバー]

Chip Conley wrote one of my favorite business books...ever...PEAK, exploring how great companies get their mojo from Maslow. Changing Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs into Transformation Pyramids for employees, customers, and investors, Conley, Founder and then the CEO of Joie de Vivre Hospitality, the second largest boutique hotel group in the country, delivered a recession-tested road map for transforming companies.

If you are expecting Conley's latest offering, EMOTIONAL EQUATIONS, to be more of the same you may be disappointed. In fact, he has an emotional equation for that: Disappointment = Expectations - Reality. In fact, Conley has written an ambitious, courageous book that is a logical extension of the emotional intelligence he displayed in PEAK.

This is a genre-busting work...it's a business book, no it's a self-help book, no it's a psychology text, no it's faith based. It happens to be all wrapped into one.

Conley explores emotions in a fresh way, using mathematics to tap into a deeper understanding. This is a thought provoking book, best read when you have the time to explore and consider your own reactions and feelings.

Here are some of the equations:

Happiness = Wanting What You Have/Having What You Want (division)
Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility (addition)
Authenticity = Self-Awareness x Courage (multiplication)
Wisdom = The Square Root of Experience (my personal favorite, and a bit of higher order math)

The book is divided into four major sections, "Dealing With Difficult Times", "Getting to Most Out of Your Work Life", "Defining Who You Are" and "Finding Contentment." Feeling anxious? Go to that chapter. Curious about Integrity? There's a chapter for that as well.

My favorite chapter deals with Happiness. Happiness = Wanting What You Have/Having What You Want. Conley explores the hedonic treadmill, studies that suggest that up to 50% of happiness is predetermined genetically (Jonathon Haidt, THE HAPPINESS HYPOTHESIS, calls is the "cortical lottery"), and the powerful role of gratitude plays in determining happiness.

Conley draws from the ancient philosophers, the positive psychology movement, and the works of Barry Schwartz (THE PARADOX OF CHOICE, another must read) to help validate his own thoughts and musings. As an author he is definitely working without a net. At times, the emotions that arise from circumstances from his life, give the book a raw feel. His examples of famous and infamous people also help define the math behind the emotions.

Don't dismiss this book as too "touchy-feely." Understanding, controlling, and changing emotions is tough work. What Chip Conley has done in EMOTIONAL EQUATIONS is offer, as the subtitle states, "Simple Truths for Creating Happiness & Success."

The principles of emotional intelligence have long informed my coaching and consulting work. I've seen emotional intelligence attached to all kinds of things and used in all kinds of ways, but equations? I just couldn't see the connection. And, being math aversive, I wasn't sure I wanted to know, but, still, I couldn't resist picking up Chip Conley's Emotional Equations. And then I couldn't put it down.

Conley has created a series of what I might call formulas rather than equations that make it easier to understand what constitutes seventeen emotional responses. Understanding the components makes it easy to see what needs to be reinforced or changed to shift an emotion. Consider the difference between disappointment and regret. Conley writes that Disappointment = Expectations - Reality, while Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility. I found these two equations very helpful in considering how to help clients better understand how to shift these negative emotions. If one considers the role of reality in disappointment, it becomes much easier to engage in an exploration of how we each define reality - and whether that definition holds true. As Conley explains the equation, it becomes clear that he is not suggesting that we all set low expectations, but, rather, that we periodically reflect on them and adjust as needed. In a similar fashion, the difference between accepting an unsatisfactory outcome and being mired in regret can be adjusted by examining one's perception of responsibility for that outcome.

I expect to come back to this book many times. I've already recommended it to everyone I know. I'm glad that my curiosity led me to read this and I'll end with my favorite equation - Curiosity = Wonder + Awe.

I don't like the title Emotional Equations. I started off as a Physics major and grew used to equations being very precise mathematical formulations. Then I got a Ph.D. in business from an Ivy League University and winced when I saw my professors desperately trying to quantify phenomena that were diffuse and inherently unquantifiable. More precisely - pardon the jargon - they took cardinal and ordinal data and pretended it was interval data so they could run regressions and fancy statistical manipulations on them. It was all smoke and mirrors and gave them the illusion that they, too, were deserving of the same respect accorded to the scientists. I was a professional market researcher for many years so I know whereof I speak.

So some of Chip's "equations" make immediate intuitive sense - such as (Despair = Suffering - Meaning) - even though it is hardly a mathematical formulation. Others, such as Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility leave me scratching my head.

I came up with my solution and am passing it on to you. Forget about the darn "equations" and trying to figure them out and simply read the book. Each chapter will give you great insights into the left hand side of the purported equation. That is where Conley has a great deal to contribute. He was/is an enlightened manager who believes that business stands - or should stand - for much more than the maximization of profits. Profits are a by product of filling a social need well and serving the customer - not a primary goal. He has struggled to act on this philosophy and weathered two of the greatest downturns in the recent history of the hospitality industry in California, so his story is worth listening to. Some of this is in his earlier book PEAK and I highly recommend it.

Take a random chapter Workaholism = What are you Running From?/What are you Living for?
The chapter begins with an anecdote about a Japanese journeyman who collapsed of a heart-attack when working one of his customary hellish weeks and briefly reviews working habits in the US which are far longer than in Europe. Then he muses on whether workaholism is actually a form of addiction and poses a list of questions to ask yourself. These questions can be real eye-openers. Are you good at making excuses for why you have to work so hard? Do you believe that money, fame or professional respect will solve all your other problems in life? Do you know what it feels like to just sit still for ten minutes doing nothing?

He then gives you practical tips on how to refocus your attention on your life. He asks you to ponder the question What Are You Living For? When was the last time you felt joy in your life? As you answer these questions and probe where the answers lead you, you begin to understand why your life is out of whack. And that is the first step towards turning it around. And, by the way, he has some instructive thoughts on how to distinguish workaholism from giving everything to your calling.

Every chapter is like that and that is where the gold in this book is. I would love to have the business world populated with more persons like Chip Conley. Alas, we have one less since he left business and is now speaking and writing and teaching. With luck his book will inspire many to examine and adopt his view of the greater role of business in society.

Perhaps you will be one of these. I hope so.