Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments: Finding Personal Meaning in aCrazy World [ペーパーバック]

"Love begets Love." -Theodore Roethke

Kent M. Keith first wrote these commandments when he was 19. What a concept! He challenged himself to do what he felt was right even if people responded in the wrong ways. More than 25 years later, he discovered that Mother Teresa had hung these commandments on the wall of her children's home in Calcutta. This book was first published in 1968.

His Commandments show you that you should not limit yourself by what other people think of you. Some people are just difficult to love and some never give you the approval you may crave. Your parents may never be happy with your current position in life, you may always think that your parents could have done a better job in parenting, you can at times be disappointed that your friends don't show you unconditional love.

Sometimes people can be illogical and unreasonable. They may see the world in a completely different way and to your mind, they make absolutely no sense. It helps to see why they are viewing the world the way they are. So many times you learn about one fact in a person's life and your entire concept of them can change.

I think there are moments in life when people decide not to love others and supreme moments when people decide to love no matter what. It seems many people either don't show love because they don't approve of certain people or they simply don't have the time to reach out to people. You can literally shut your heart away in a little box inside of you or you can open that box and let all that love flow out. It is really up to you.

Kent says that:

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

As he says: If approval and worthiness were really a prerequisite for love, there would be very little love in the world. Love at its best is unconditional."

What many people don't realize is that unconditional love can be a great joy or a terrible burden. Of course, we all want to be loved unconditionally. I think it is our most basic human need.

I have loved a few people in my life who didn't know how to love me back and I guess that is one of the most hurtful things in life. But for every situation where you are not loved, there are so many other situations where life can be beautiful, fulfilling and a true adventure.

If you feel you can't love other people, try being more accepting of yourself. When you learn to love who you are, it is easier to love everyone else.

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." -Elbert Hubbard

~The Rebecca Review

I was given a copy of this book by my wonderful wife Michelle for this most recent Father's Day. I picked it up to skim through and despite having loads of work to do, read nearly the whole thing without slowing down. It is an encouraging and meaningful collection of wisdom on how to align our personal attitudes towards an often hostile environment.

There are ten basic "paradoxical commandments", which start with a realistic, although perhaps overly jaded, view of others. For example, the first "commandment" is "People are illogical, unreasonable, and self centered - Love them anyway". That is the general point to all of these, do what is right anyway.

What is really interesting is the path these "paradoxical" statements took. The author was amazed to find that something he had written 20 years before in college wound up on the wall at Mother Theresa's orphanage in Calcutta. What a surprise it was for him to see these listed in one of her memoirs, knowing that something you wrote was held in that high of esteem by someone as wonderfully selfless as she was.

My personal favorite is the section on "Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable - Be honest and frank anyway". In corporate America, there is often little reward, and much risk in being honest what with the always present threat or perception of politics and other power struggles in play. Yet, it has been shown time and again that an honest and frank discussion of the "current state" is the first step towards growth and development - of people or the business. This brief text gives encouragement to do the right thing, knowing full well the short term consequences may be painful. Kent gave some great examples of this, including being literally fired for one of his presentations which was simply an admonition to improve.

Sure, this book is merely a rehashing of wisdom one finds in Proverbs, or elsewhere in the Bible and other philosophical sources, but it is very worthwhile nonetheless. I recommend keeping a copy on your desk or nightstand for a simple and concise reality check when needed. Do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do, and despite the reality of the world - do it "Anyway".

Sometimes the simplicity of a good message is what makes it work. When my Mom and Dad gave me a copy of this book, I have to admit, I was worried that they had paid so much for a book that didn't seem "thick" enough. In reality, it was one of the best books I have ever read, and I think that I remember its message so vividly because it wasn't filled with fluff.

I just used its message today (which I won't give away) to inspire me to continue down the right road in spite of some obstacles.

Every one of my kids (all four of them) will read this book before they leave our house. Thanks, Mr. Keith for helping me with discernment on today's issue and every other time I have remembered your message. God bless you.